Pocket-Sized Growing Ghost Lamp - Batteries Included! 👻

”They told you ‘big decor only’ for Halloween…

Then this 4-inch ghost ate their porch.

🧪 LAB REPORT: When placed in darkness, Subject G-04 emits a 7-foot radius ‘terror aura’ via gauze-diffused amber glow – turning bookshelves into séance corners and coffee tables into haunted crime scenes…

WARNING: Objects in mirror appear spookier than they seem! (Batteries pre-installed for instant haunting)“

💀 WHY THIS MICROHAUNT BEATS LARGER DECOR:

✅ STEALTH MODE ACTIVATED:

• 4.17” x 2.56” frame hides between cookbooks/under pillows

• Lights up at 0.2 sec latency when darkness detected (psychological warfare!)

✅ TERROR PORTABILITY PROTOCOL:

• 56g weight infiltrates: bedside tables → fridge tops → even bathroom sink ledges

• 72hr battery life survives 3 all-night parties

✅ UPGRADED HAUNT MATRIX:

• Gauze fabric creates “floating ectoplasm” effect

• Amber spectrum light (2400K) triggers primal fear response

🧫 FIELD TEST CONFIRMED:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

”Put it on my 3-inch bathroom ledge. When friends walked in at night, they froze whispering ‘WTH is that?!’ Mission accomplished!“

– Rachel P. (Terror Microdoser)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

”Pro tip: Line up 3 on a narrow bookshelf. The combined glow made my $200 skeleton look like cheap decor!“

– Brian M. (Giant-Killer)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

”Left it in my kid’s cereal box as a prank. His scream >>>>> the price tag. Worth every penny!”

– Amanda L. (Chaos Engineer)

⚠️ CLASSIFIED ALERT:

The G-04 project nearly halted after beta-testers reported36% spike in neighbor envy

🔮 LIMITED-TIME FIELD KIT:

Order 2+ ghosts → Unlock FREE ‘Mini Terror Zones’ Guide (11 creepy placement hacks!)

👉 DEPLOY YOUR MICROHAUNT → Tap ‘Add to Cart’ Before Government Shuts This Down!